Donald Trump, Vladimir Putin and Kim Jong-Un start a nuclear war and die at the same time.  They are greeted at the Gates of Hell by the Devil, who explains that they can make one final call, but such calls may be VERY expensive.  Since they are rich and can't take it with them, all three agree.  Putin calls Russia and talks for five minutes; the charge is one million dollars.  Jong-Un calls North Korea and talks for ten minutes; the cost is two million dollars.  Trump calls his family and talks bigly for hours, but the cost is only five bucks.  A seething Putin demands to know why Trump got off so cheap.  The Devil replies: "Since he took over, the US has gone to Hell, so it's a local call!"