Breathtaking

The hottest man on earth!

      A woman dies, goes to Heaven and sees St. Peter.  There are many clocks surrounding him so the woman asks: "What are these clocks for?"  St. Peter replies: "These are lie clocks, they tick once for every lie you tell.  Here we have Mother Teresa's clock, she has never lied so the clock has not moved.  Honest Abe has only lied twice in his life, so his clock has only ticked twice."  The woman then asks: "So, where is Donald Trump's clock?"  St. Peter replies: "Oh, that is in Jesus' office, he is using it as a ceiling fan!"

Trumpageddon = Armageddon, only much worse because we have to listen to Dotard brag about his superiority while he destroys the world.

Disgustingly Distasteful Dictator.

      Donald Trump, Vladimir Putin and Kim Jong-Un start a nuclear war and die at the same time.  They are greeted at the Gates of Hell by the Devil, who explains that they can make one final call, but such calls may be VERY expensive.  Since they are rich and can't take it with them, all three agree.  Putin calls Russia and talks for five minutes; the charge is one million dollars.  Jong-Un calls North Korea and talks for ten minutes; the cost is two million dollars.  Trump calls his family and talks bigly for hours, but the cost is only five bucks.  A seething Putin demands to know why Trump got off so cheap.  The Devil replies: "Since he took over, the US has gone to Hell, so it's a local call!"